My 'Down' Time

Okay, folks...you've seen me rant about a number of different subjects ranging from idiots to negative collegiate press. So, now it's time for a different kind of rant: a depressed one.Loneliness. It strikes everyone at one point or another in their lives, usually more than once. Today is a lonely day for me. No, nothing in particular happened to give me this feeling. I was diagnosed very young with depression, albeit mild depression - but even mild depression can be bad. Still...I have reasons other than depression to be lonely.It's been about five or six years since I've had a girlfriend now. While most people wouldn't consider that a negative thing, consider this: I've had five girlfriends in my time. One couldn't 'officially' go out with me because her father forbade it (thus forcing us to eventually break off the relationship), one was a bit too - eh - 'unique' (to put it nicely) for my tastes (unfortunately, I had to dump her), one had a kid and a boyfriend (who gave her the kid - I didn't find out about either until the boyfriend approached me; we both dumped her, though individually)...and I'm not going to talk about the other two. Long stories, both of them.So, tonight, I'm a bit depressed. I have no one to spend time with, and I don't have any friends because I don't know anyone in this area and the other students in my Spanish class have their own lives to live. Yes, I'm probably complaining a bit too much. I, however, am a complainer; it's really the only thing I have a natural talent for. Sure, I can read and write; I can obviously type, or I wouldn't be here typing up this blog. I can speak some Spanish, and I'm learning more (albeit slowly). And what's more, the online thing isn't really doing it for me anymore. I mean, there's no face-to-face. You know? No voices, no nothing. You can't really chill with someone you aren't physically hangin' with.I've often joked that I couldn't get a girl if I paid her to go out with me. I'm starting to think that's true. Like I said, it's been a while.Right now, you're probably reading this and thinking, "Good GOD - what a sap." Yes. I'm a sap. But everyone needs a companion or two now and then, even if only to unload on or be unloaded on. Just being there, hangin' out, chillin'...sometimes that's all that's needed. And boredom doesn't help, either.So, I type this blog as I try to come up with a way to amuse myself. I hate being depressed, but I can't change it. And I'm not about to start taking drugs for it. I'm not going to turn into a corporate guinea pig when not only do I not have the money, but I also don't have the patience.Now, I thank you for listening to my rant. Any comments or questions...you know what to do. Good night, viewers and fellow bloggers.